What my life is today

June 5, 2010

In a few months, life can change so rapidly, it will make your head spin.

The last few months were one of the worst and best in my life.

I never felt so much stress, never felt so pressured, never felt so insecure.

Yet I made through it with a degree and a new beginning.

I have broken up with my very long term boyfriend. Why? Because I felt trapped, suffocated and I could not see myself continuing in this relationship. It was time. They were great 5, almost 6 years but I was unhappy.

In the last 3 years I looked everywhere for a sollution for my issues, I found it in myself. I need to know who I am and as clichee as it sounds, I need to do this journey on my own.

People will think I’m a bitch, people will think I am cruel and ungrateful.

People also know shit about my life and who I am.

Heck, I don’t even know who I am, how will others know?

I met great people, they change me in a good way, into someone I always wanted to be and was afraid I could never be.

Myself.

Plain, simple, screwed up.

You need things in common in order to work, this is so true, truer than truth itself. Opposites may attract but that second helping of chocolate cake does that too, yet it goes against everything I stand for.

Lately I am having a hard time with it.

Lately, I have been relapsing after what… 4 months?

Is this because if stress and change? Most definitely.

Funny how you can analyse yourself so easily and yet still go and do it.

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